Michael Phelps and I Have A Lot in Common

But seriously, cupping is terrible

phelps cupping

Finally. An excuse to write about Michael Phelps. I wrote about cupping in GRADUATES IN WONDERLAND, because it was possibly the most terrible experience of my life. Here’s an excerpt in my letter from Beijing to Rachel in New York: Anyway, we actually lost a little bit of time together because I got sick. It’sRead On >>

Elves f**k and have better clothes than you

Elf School

elf school Jezebel Jess Pan

  I went to elf school in Iceland and wrote about it for Jezebel: “Every time I see a local ripping off a tourist for some ‘authentic’ experience, I think, ‘Who the hell is going to fall for that?’” Dylan, my ex-roommate, remarked a few months ago over breakfast. “And then I think, ‘Oh wait.Read On >>

Bake These Tarts, Bag Your Own Tyrannical King

(includes gluten because kings love gluten)

Close up Maid of Honor Tarts

If you’re always a bridesmaid, never a bride, don’t fret. Attracting the perfect mate is time-consuming and difficult in the best of times. But there’s an easier way, and it dates back to the 16th century. If you’ve been watching Wolf Hall and want that really joyful time in history to be your reality, then this is theRead On >>

Friggatriskaidekaphobia Cold Fruit Soup

Happy Friday The 13th!

FRUIT-SOUP-FRUITS friggatriskaiphobia

Today is Friday the 13th—fear of this date, known as friggatriskaidekaphobia, is named after Frigg, the Norse goddess whose name inspired the word “Friday.” Norse mythology has it that 12 gods were having a lovely banquet at Valhalla when Loki, the god of mischief who was not invited, showed up, bringing the number of diners to 13.Read On >>

Greta Garbo’s Advice

Hollywood Icons Solve Your Problems

greta garbo advice

Ever wondered how to handle job promotions, flirtations with married men and making friends? Greta Garbo has the answers of course (just look at her). Here’s my (her) Hollywood Advice Column at Vanity Fair.  

Prepare Nothing When You Move Abroad

Five Reasons To Just Go


“Don’t rest all of your life expectations on one outcome. When you have no expectations, you don’t lose all that money on wasted ribbons and polo shirts. I flew to Beijing without knowing a thing about what to expect or what to bring. Granted, I also had to live without deodorant and the correct prescriptionRead On >>

How to Get Fat in Paris

Without Even Trying!*


1. Constantly go to cafes. Order coffee. It’ll come with a large jug of full-fat milk and will taste so bitter, you’ll need to douse it in sugar. You’re going to need a croissant to break up the strong flavor of coffee. It’ll be made almost entirely of butter. 2. Buy “souvenirs” for friends andRead On >>

Very Important Christening Etiquette FYI

According to Debrett's, Of Course

christening photo smaller

A good friend of mine is attending a christening in England today. She panicked about the protocol at such an event and sent me a link from the expert etiquette guide, Debrett’s. She wrote, “According to Debrett’s, I have to ‘radiate effusive excitement‘ about the baby.” She sent the link 10 days ago, but nowRead On >>

How to Throw a Georgian-Era Christmas Party

previously published in the Hairpin


Georgian era (1714-1830) English Christmas begins early. Inspired by Sarah Beeny’s A Very British Christmas program, this list will make sure your hair is properly coiffed, your guests are satiated and your knickers aren’t in a wad. 1. Procure a stately home. This one looks nice. 2. Employ at least 15 servants so everything runs smoothly. 3. Gift-giving officiallyRead On >>